i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need to sanitize my soul.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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