If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
