Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
