i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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