I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
