1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
