What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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