apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Vodka?
Forever.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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