Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
