That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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