officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
