if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
