btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
