no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
