sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
