Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
