living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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