"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
