Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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