I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
