remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you win again, gameday.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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