I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
