found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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