I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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