So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
