Well apparently he's into motor boating.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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