i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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