You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize