So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
