She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just invented taco cereal.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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