Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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