Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
