It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
