Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Text me some of your sweat
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