I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
