Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i love accidental penises.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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