I want to walk on stilts...naked
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
