While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
