So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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