Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
birth control should be required to get into college
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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