i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize