Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
