He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize