Apparently you make a good broom.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
