I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
