Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
