i think my tv is drunk
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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