We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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