she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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