That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Fuck appropriateness.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
