Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
