omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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