Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
