I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
