I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My dick has a subreddit
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
