Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Small penises have feelings too.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
