how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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