Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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