I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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