He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
