I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
