remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
