I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
