Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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