Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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