i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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