So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize