I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
