no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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