I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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