i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
