So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
