I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
