youre lurking in front of me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
honey bunches of taint.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
third nipple confirmed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
