Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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