I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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