I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
