I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
