do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
